• the grace in letting go

    February 21, 2013KarenBeth

    It’s not easy to let go of something; especially when I feel so strongly about my convictions! It took me years of therapy and a lot of work to learn how to stand to something that is right and true when I have been wronged or hurt. I never knew how to stand up for my rights, or to anyone in my life before. I never knew how to allow myself anger when I felt anger. I never knew how to allow myself emotions when something has hurt me- and I did! Learning how to own all of these things…

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  • I am choosing {what I know}

    April 23, 2012KarenBeth

    I felt strong in session today as I stood and sat with my therapist honoring my anger. I was reminded today that my anger is right, and belongs to where it belongs, and not with me. Part of working in therapy has been about building that strong foundation to stand on. A foundation where I can have all those emotions and still be strong enough to stand. I have been going through a particular hard time with a certain situation and I realized today that, when dirt is thrown at you, and you feel that you are about to throw…

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  • “you can talk about anything”

    March 24, 2012KarenBeth

    “You can talk about anything”. Those 5 words are the words that my therapist reminds me of almost on a daily basis – through connection and support. I have come to love those 5 words! I have come to accept those 5 words, I sometimes look forward to those 5 words, and better yet, I have learned to trust those 5 words. When I hear those 5 words it gives me an opening to freedom I never had. I was silenced as a child, I never thought I could open up about what was going on inside, or to talk about…

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  • a broken heart – physical healing

    March 22, 2012KarenBeth

    Since being in therapy, I truly believe that emotional healing plays a huge factor in physical healing. I also believe and have learned that emotional stress also leads to physical stress – they go both hand in hand. I was born with a heart condition called “Bicuspid Aortic Valve”. I didn’t know I was born with this condition until I was rushed to the hospital in AFIB (Atrial Fibrillation) back in 2004, which I have to say was the scariest moment of my life, and a turning point in my physical healing as well. When I was a child I always…

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  • the walls that once provided . . .

    March 20, 2012KarenBeth

    When I am dealing with too much than I can handle, I turn to old habits like building walls; emotional walls, like electric fences and barbwire’s! Those walls served a great purpose in the past. It kept people out, and kept me from leaning in. It kept people at bay from me, and kept my emotions caved in. It provided me a soft cusion, and kept me safe. It pushed even the good people away; while I survived it alone, day after day! The walls were the only thing I had my whole life. Years of therapy has helped me take…

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  • the tree’s that bend…

    March 17, 2012KarenBeth

    Today I experienced a road block in my writing, until now. This happens when I cannot reach anything inside, but I know there are things sitting there; waiting to be reached. I sometimes experience this in therapy as well. I will go into session and I am silent. I just have nothing to open up inside; even though there is a lot inside. Today when thinking about what I wanted to write, I was reminded about “the tree’s that bend”, and the photo that I look at everyday in my healing. This photograph of the trees is actually a canvas that…

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  • sunday in reflection – thankful

    March 11, 2012KarenBeth

    I am starting something new for Sunday nights – a reflection of inner healing. I am a person of reflection, and I love using encouragement in my writing, it helps to move through the tougher days and moments. I am a part of this organization called “Waking Lotus” .. they encourage inner healing challenges daily, so thought I would bring it to my blog once a week on Sunday nights. Each Sunday I will put up an encouraging word, you can share it in the comments, email me, or just do this exercise alone.. see where it takes you! The challenge for…

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  • writing excercise – building strength!

    March 10, 2012KarenBeth

    I am in week 2 of my “creative writing” class. Saturday mornings lesson was to post a photo of you that you would not normally post, and describe yourself in 3 adjectives – take a risk, write about you, describe yourself in a riskful way, be creative yet take the fear by the neck and write about it. I chose this photo of me when I was at the height of my “body building”. I wouldn’t normally share this photo, so I guess I took the risk on that aspect. There are only very few people who have seen this photo, and…

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  • accompishment and celebration

    March 9, 2012KarenBeth

    Today was about accomplishment and celebration in my healing. Today was one of my favorite days in this journey I have been on; regardless of still feeling sad and weak. For years in my healing, when I have gone through something hard to the point of feeling really weak and I don’t want to admit it – I tend to run off, hide and lick my own wounds. Sometimes, I care so much about my damn independence that I won’t let people help when I feel REALLY weak. I have gone into disconnection because of it in the past, and that sometimes…

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