• walking thru many changes

    January 7, 2016KarenBeth

    As I sat in session yesterday, There was a moment I made a strong eye contact with my therapist when he asked me a hard question, and in that moment I felt a trust I have never felt even in the 8 1/2 years I have worked with my therapist on this healing journey. I felt this newness in me, I felt like the young part (in that moment) let go of all the old messages and all the old fears and just allowed TRUST to be present and I felt heard, and I felt supported, and I felt a…

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  • thinking back – looking forward

    December 31, 2015KarenBeth

    As I look back on this past year, it was a very hard year for me on so many levels! But it has also been one of the most connecting and self changing years on my healing journey. It began with the death of my mom last January 6th 2015, which set the stage for the beginning of a very hard year for me. I was already struggling with self isolation from many things that happened a couple of years ago, and in that hard work of trying to move out of the isolation, adding my moms death was just…

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  • feeling my emotions

    December 18, 2015KarenBeth

    Yesterday when I woke up to get ready for therapy and the day ahead I knew it was going to be a really hard day – I just knew it and felt something really big inside tugging at me! Emotions were really close to the surface from the moment I woke! Emotions scare me – – emotions make me want to run – – I hate feeling, and being with emotions; especially letting them be seen! Yes even in therapy, even after 8 1/2 years of working thru my feelings and it still is a huge struggle for me! When…

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  • raw and vulnerable – facing my core emotions

    December 13, 2015KarenBeth

    I feel like the theme of my writing has been “its been a while since I have written”, and it’s true, it has been a while since I have written, and I think it’s because when I am working so hard internally, I become detached with everything else around me. The work in therapy the past couple of weeks have been really hard but good work! My therapist keeps telling me “I am so proud of you, you are working so hard and you are on such a different path than you were just months ago” – and I believe…

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  • vulnerable in my sleep

    November 14, 2015KarenBeth

    I have woken up many times in the past week crying out of my sleep; literally crying with tears and all out of my sleep. I have written about this experience before and its something that I have gone through quite a bit in the past couple of years. This past week I have experienced this almost every other night and it has left me feeling emotionally drained! I have talked about it with Andy in therapy and he knows this has been something I have struggled with for years, but we never have put a secure understanding of why…

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  • its a choice – my choice

    November 12, 2015KarenBeth

    Wednesday morning while driving into therapy, I was feeling a bit disconnected – I woke up not being sure I wanted to show up to session and be vulnerable to how disconnected I felt – I felt a bit quiet inside like emotions were right there at the surface . . . . . Then… 3 words came to my mind and into my heart – ITS A CHOICE! I have the choice to feel the way I am feeling! I have a choice to show up just as I am, and let my therapist connect with me and connect…

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  • the temporary path – the road less traveled

    November 9, 2015KarenBeth

    I have always viewed my healing journey, my healing path as a road that goes forward with a few detours on the side. There are times I am going straight on the path, and there have been times when out of no-where, I was detoured off my path – and OH how frustrating can that be! Or maybe it doesn’t have to be a frustrating struggle; rather seen and looked at as a path less traveled to heal bigger wounds. Maybe instead of seeing these struggles as detours, maybe its more of a temporary path to – where I can…

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  • projection and the battle within

    November 8, 2015KarenBeth

    Projection is something that I sometimes struggle with, and something I have really struggled with the past couple of weeks. I am learning more and more about what projection is and why I struggle with it; how projection relates to me and my work in therapy. I read a wonderful article written by Morgan Sontag called “Things are not as they appear“. She explains how Projection is a defense strategy in which you unconsciously defend yourself against unpleasant impulses or feelings by denying their existence in yourself, while attributing it to someone else. Basically in a nut-shell, projection is “blame…

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  • 31 Days {Days 25, 26 & 27} stuck in a rut

    October 27, 2015KarenBeth

    I have been stuck in an emotional rut for the past 48 hours, and it’s been hard to move out of it. It’s not often that I get disconnected. Through the years of working in therapy I have really learned how to stay connected, even in the hardest of struggles. But then there are times when I get caught in an emotional rut and disconnection finds its way through me. The past 48 hours have been one of those times, and it’s frustrating not being able to pull out of it. It began with an anxiety attack I had in…

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