Holding On . . .
I think that this photo represents what we sometimes need inside to move forward. There are times that God gives us the strength to fight it, move around it, be with what is hard… and there are times we wish he would carry us through it. Sometimes you have been doing it yourself for so long that it almost seems impossible to allow someone else to carry you through it. It’s easier to ask God for help, because we can’t see him – but try asking other people in your life to help carry you through something that is truly hard; when you have depended on yourself your whole life.
Then there comes a time when you just cannot do it on your own. I think for me, I am at a point in my life, and my journey that I am finding it harder and harder to push through it alone. The walls that created such a comfort for me are no longer soft walls of comfort, they are becoming obstacles. These walls that allowed me to easily move through life without a want or need, or even having to accept support. These walls protected me from getting hurt in the case that I would need or want and it wasn’t there…. but as I move forward in my journey to healing, I am finding that they are no longer serving a greater purpose; but instead causing me to suffer in silence.
I feel connection in so important in order to accept those around you. The connection is already there with God .. but how do we find that connection with others and it be OK? How do I move forward without walls that I carried all my life? how do I move forward and this be for ME?
When I look at this photo, it reminds me of what I have been doing for 34 years, since I was 5 (carrying her) .. I have a very hard time seeing it the other way around. Truly this is one of the hardest things I have come to in this journey – needing!