celebrating me and this journey

My birthday is coming up this Wednesday and I am embracing this day in a whole different way this year.

I never liked my birthday, in fact I despised it! I treated it just like any other day, and in fact felt very depressed on this day, and just smiled along the way to make it through the day! Β 

My BirthdayΒ was always filled with many dissapointments, and feelings of unworthiness, isolation and anger I felt about myself.

This year it’s notΒ so much about celebrating my birthday; but more so celebrating a new year to come going forward.

This year is about loving who I am, and loving who I am becoming out of this. It’s not about sitting here and putting myself down, feeling unworthy, criticizing myself, or making myself believe I am not even worthy on my own birthday. This year I am embracing who I am, where I have been, where I am going, and accepting it.

I dont want gifts, I dont want the big fuss of birthday parties – my idea of celebrating me is being around those who I love. Being around the people who hold me up on the days I have a hard time believing I am worthy.

Spend time with my husband and my boys at dinner. Going out next weekend for a girls night out being around those who truly love me for me, and who I love dearly for accepting me for who I am.

Normally on my birthday I would not go into therapy (who wants toΒ work hard in therapy on their birthday) –Β but this year I am taking a new approach, I am actually going to therapy on my birthday, and I will celebrate me an my healing, and share it with someone who has helped me to see that “I am important” and this day is about just that – being worthy of my being, and being worthy of this journeyΒ I am on – a journey to heal.

It has taken me a long long time to see that worth, and I thank the process of therapy and a great therapist to help me see who I am, and how far I have come. Maybe I will even bring in a cupcake with a candle into therapy and celebrate the movement of me, and making a mark on new things to come for me.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a different day for me. It’s not about being showered with gifts –Β but showered with connection around those who truly make me feel connected.

I can’t wait to have dinner with my husband and boys! I cannot wait to have that girls night out next weekend with all my dear friends! I cannot wait to have a yummy cake after being on a clean eating diet for a month! I cannot wait to celebrate my birthday in my healing place and embrace who I am moving towards.

It’s going to be a great day Wednesday, and for the first time Β – I am looking forward to it.

Please take a moment to comment! I love connecting with others!