• crying wake ups – what does it mean?

    November 16, 2017KarenBeth

    β€œThose who do not weep, do not see.”  – Victor Hugo I’m sleeping soundly, and then I find myself crying in my sleep, and when I realize this, I am wrestling and struggling to wake up out of the dream – and when I wake, I have tears rolling down my face and the emotions build even bigger as I continue to cry. I then realize, WAIT I just woke up out of a dream, why am I crying and why am I so sad? Sometimes I will stop crying right away, sit and think about it, feel puzzled on…

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  • finding new light and darkness

    November 12, 2017KarenBeth

    “I stopped looking for the light and decided to become the light instead.” This quote is so true to what I feel is going on inside this past month. Even as I sit here and write this blog, it feels different – there is a newness of this writing and the process of being open with where I am. Like I shared with my therapist in session last week, “this past month has been the most healing in all the years of being in therapy.” I look forward to what this new light will bring to me as I continue…

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  • decisions

    October 14, 2017KarenBeth

    As you all can tell, I haven’t stuck to the 31 days of writing challenge! I felt so much pressure around making the daily posts that It made me shut out my writing all together, and to me that is not what I wanted this challenge to stand for. I thought time and space would allow me to do the 31 days of writing this month! I was ready for it, I was wanting to connect to all the wonderful people on this same journey, but each time I went to write, I would notice how many days I was…

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  • Another Door Open

    October 7, 2017KarenBeth

    For years now, I have been in and out of the process of writing my book. I was so close to making it happen a couple of years ago; even got myself a publisher. The moment I began writing, I got triggered and began struggling to move through the process of writing about the past. Recalling memories from my past were too painful to write about, I thought I was ready with already years of work with my therapist talking about my past – but something was missing and I wasn’t ready yet. I decided to put it aside and…

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    October 4, 2017KarenBeth

    The one thing I told myself when I agreed to do this “31 days of writing” was not to be hard on myself if I missed a day of writing, because “life happens!” life gets in the way of time we have to ourselves sometimes. Life gets in the way of our thoughts, and our means to have a moment to ourselves, and that’s what happened to me yesterday. I actually had a very vulnerable session yesterday in therapy! I talked about some things that were hard and allowed myself to sit with my emotions, and sometimes when that happens,…

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  • 31 Days of Finding My Voice (Day 2)- Rejection

    October 2, 2017KarenBeth

    I wasn’t sure I was going to write about this or not, but this 31 days of β€œFinding My Voice” is about just that – speaking and writing about the things I wouldn’t usually use my voice to speak. What could be harder than rejection? Telling others you were rejected! It’s that feeling of embarrassment and shame. It’s allowing others to see that you were not accepted, or chosen – like putting a spotlight on something people possibly can’t see and allowing them to see it. Like some of you know, I applied to go on a retreat, and you…

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