My 12 year road to healing!
It has been quite a long time since I have written a blog – and what better time to bring back my writing and my blog while celebrating 12 amazing years thus far being on this healing journey in therapy.
Much like the new look and feel of my blog – my healing journey in therapy has also grown in ways I never thought I could grow, and I have an amazing therapist to thank for walking along side of me, and supporting me in each vulnerable step I have taken.
The photo above is the room I have spent the past 12 years slowly peeling back the many layers of both past and present!
This room holds my story – my pain – my happiness – my vulnerable truths and sadness! It also holds the many celebrations of many steps taken; even the steps back (which are just as important as the steps forward).
It’s hard to believe sometimes that I have been on this journey for 12 years! I can remember the very first day I took a step in this room, and just how vulnerable and scared I was. Each year has held its own purpose, and each year has held the foothold to the next. The years in therapy have been much like climbing a rock wall, each moment, each session is a rock leading me to the next rock, to pull me to the next rock! What I have come to realize in the many years of healing is that: healing is not a destination of “where”, but rather a moment of “being”.
I have also learned over the past 12 years that healing and therapy is not just about telling the painful stories of the past – it’s also about finding yourself within the pain and hard truths that are held deep within. Healing is about finding the lost young inner child and pulling her out of the pain from the past – and bringing forth the person that was hidden without a voice for all those years.
Looking at this photo of my therapy room, I am reminded just how blessed I am that God has given me such a wonderful path of healing, and a therapist who has guided me gently through the hard painful times of healing! My therapist Andy is the most caring, kind-hearted person I know.
He has taught me so much about connection and acceptance and just how worthy my healing journey is. He has filled me with so much wisdom, and has given me hope and support through the many steps I have taken along this journey. I couldn’t ask for a better person to walk along side of this vulnerable – sometimes painful – healing journey.
My writing and blog have gone through a lot of ups and downs over the past couple of years. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue writing or not — but just as I have learned the many things about myself on this healing journey, I am also reminded that writing was and is and will always be such a big part of me and my healing; even when I was a little child. Writing was my survival.
Writing helps me to connect with others and find things within myself that not only therapy can bring out and that is what I look forward as I bring my writing and blog back to be a part of this amazing journey.
I am in the midst of taking many big steps back into the things that I took a step away from years ago, and writing is on those things that I have missed so much. It what God created me to do – and I hope I can bring this back to be a part of my continuing healing journey.
One of the things I have learned the most in the past 12 years (that also my therapist has helped me to learn) is that, no matter what steps I make, whether big steps forward, or even the small steps back – all steps are healing and something is to be realized and learned in those steps. The good and the hard are equally welcomed as they both bring healing forward.
That even in the moments I struggle, or the moments I am silent out of pain or vulnerability – I am still supported, loved, and cared for. I don’t have to always be taking steps forward. The key to healing is movement no matter which way you are moving.
To my readers and supporters: I hope that I can bring back my writing and share the journey with you all as I continue this journey of the many steps I am still learning to take! I hope I can connect back with those who have once walked along side of me, and I hope you can learn from my journey and I can be supporting by my own experiences.
To my therapist who I know I will be reading this blog to: I am so honored to be on this journey with you, and I am truly blessed to be healing along-side someone I admire and look up to. You have helped me so much to become the person I am today, and have taught me so much about connection and acceptance. Thank you so much for all you do.
I look forward to the more of where this writing will take me and my healing and I hope you will read and follow my journey and hopefully connect to your own journey of healing. Thank you to those who have followed my journey of healing and supported me through it all.