• finding your true self . . .

    February 6, 2012KarenBeth

    When you have lived your life having to be someone else in order to survive, you really dont have a clear focus on who you are, or who you were meant to be. You wonder what is the “core” you; the “authentic” you deep inside under all that was hidden from who you had to be. In the years of being in therapy (I call it my journey to healing) I have had moments where I see clearly of who I am, and who I am supposed to be, and then I have moments that I lose focus on it…

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  • what is the timeline? my timeline . . .

    February 5, 2012KarenBeth

    I have recently received a lot of emails from people who read my blog, and friends from Facebook who have asked me, “what is this timeline your talking about? what is this timeline you are working on in your healing? whats this timeline your talking about in your blog? what is it?  .. instead of replying to 50 emails, I have decided to share what it is I am working on in my healing, in a way, writing this blog entry about my timeline is healing, because I am opening myself up to let people know what healing is doing for me. For 5…

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  • Gaps in the path . . .

    February 3, 2012KarenBeth

    As I stated in my post below “healing is healing” there is a road I am on, but also a road can have gaps. This path has gaps, but they are also small enough to jump! I have learned this week in my work in healing that no matter how many times the path breaks, I can still jump over them, and persevere. A road is never perfect, nor is healing. There is no blueprint for healing, you will come up against trial and error, you will come up against obstacles that you think steer you in the wrong direction;…

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  • putting up the good fight!

    January 28, 2012KarenBeth

    This morning was a hard realization of what I needed to do to get through the hard, to get to the good! You cannot win, if you don’t fight, stand up, and make a choice! Sometimes when it’s really hard, you feel you don’t have much strength. You sit there and wonder if throwing yourself under the covers and disconnecting will make the hardness go away; but in fact, It feeds the hardness, it feeds the disconnection and makes it grow – and before you know it, it’s got you, you will be owned by the disconnection and the hardness that you are enduring. You want…

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  • Empowerment Over Self

    January 24, 2012KarenBeth

    How do you have control over something you have never had control over? how do you find empowerment over something that has had power over you your whole life? How do you take something that has hindered your way of living, and have the power and choice to not let it have power over you? For the longest time the people of my past had power over me, and in a way they still do emotionally. Even though the abuse is not happening right now in this moment; emotionally they still have some control over me. How do I cut the cord so to speak? how…

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  • Light from Darkness!

    January 20, 2012KarenBeth

    I absolutely LOVE this quote! Me being a photographer for 15 years, I would have to say that this quote so much relates to my life today, and the journey I have been on for so long in healing. What I have come to understand and know in this journey is that, you cannot see light if you have never seen darkness, you cannot know what it feels like to be happy, if you have never been sad, you cannot know what love feels like, if you have never experienced pain and or hate. You cannot feel one thing, if you…

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  • Most Blessed! Nathan Turns 13!!

    January 14, 2012KarenBeth

    In talking about blessings, I have to say that I am most blessed for all 3 of my boys, 4 when you count my husband. But this week I am most blessed for Nathan to who is about to turn the most important age of 13 in a couple of days!!! 13 being no longer defined as a child; but now as a teen. It’s no longer the moments of him sitting on my lap and watching a movie, or cuddling and talking.. it’s more of a “quick side hug” before running into his room to put his head into the computer…

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  • It’s time to stand!

    January 13, 2012KarenBeth

    Have you ever been on a journey so long that you found yourself to the point of exhaustion that you had to find a place to sit; even if it’s in the middle of the road? I guess in a way I have gone through this many times in my journey to healing; to find the real me behind my story, and behind the mystery of “why I am the way that I am”. In fact, I know that I have sat many times in this confusion and hardness; to the point of people around me telling me that I needed…

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  • letting go, while reaching for…

    January 7, 2012KarenBeth

    I saw this photo, and it truly had some meaning to me, not just about the trees, or the beautiful lighting, but because it represents two meanings – letting Go, and reaching for”.. both of which I am very familiar with, (one more so than the other) and both which takes alot of work, strength, and faith to do. I feel, right now,  I am in the “in between”. I am letting go; but at the same time reaching for. The blessing in this is, I think for the first time, I can actually see the “reaching for” in the midst…

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