While it’s not always easy, sometimes the healing can be found in true acceptance of what is here – no matter what it is, or how it makes us feel, – its here because it needs to be here!
That has been a hard lesson to learn over the years. I could never understand why I can’t change something and the way it feels – especially emotions.
The path that I have been on the past month or so still continues to move forward and healing continues to happen – the hardest part? accepting how it feels.
Sometimes if you allow yourself to be open to whatever comes next, you can accept what is here and what is to be.
Emotions showed up big again the other night. I found myself crying to the point of not being able to breathe . . . feelings about my moms passing, feelings about the sadness I had for myself moving out and away from this isolation I have been in, I was sad and it hurt and yet at the same time, I just accepted it as “feelings that need to be heard and felt”.
That old saying “you can’t heal what you don’t feel” . . I never believed in that before, I think I am beginning to believe that.
These emotions that have been showing up lately mean something, and I am trying to accept them as being information; not hopeless never ending feelings that just feel bad.
My therapist and I have been talking about this a lot in our work, and the one thing that really makes sense in all this is, when we are in isolation physical from the work like I have been in the past year, emotions also get trapped inside the isolation, so my therapist said to me that even the emotions showing up are feelings finding their way out to be felt, heard, honored, and something to understand to help taking the steps continued forward.
I agree with him, but in the midst of emotions its hard to see it that way.
My eating has also been in isolation this past year.. I am slowly beginning to eat more, which oddly also brought up emotions the other day. I guess it all works together like a healing circle, and my hope is, eventually I will move out and away from what the isolation has been for me in all ways – emotionally, physically, and even spiritually.
All those things were effected in this hard 2 years that had passed – but my hope is, with the acceptance comes a greater healing.
It’s amazing what a little acceptance can do. . . it feeds the healing process on a whole new level.